Domesticated

Four short stories of life after the romance...

~I woke up today and decided to wash all the laundry, including all the towels in our house, then sat down to a nice cup of coffee.  I was reading my new book when I heard a strange whining noise coming from the bathroom.  As I walked through the doorway I saw my boyfriend; dripping wet standing on the bath mat. 

“Do you have a towel for me?” he asked.

I threw him a facecloth and went back to my coffee.

~Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one doing the cleaning.  I know that my boyfriend and I share the house hold jobs, but every once in a while I find myself scrubbing the bathtub, taking out the garbage and emptying the dishwasher all in the same amount of time it takes him to scratch his balls and surf the internet.  Of course, I know he’ll help me eventually, but some days I really don’t feel like waiting 45 min until he notices what I’m doing.  Last week I’d had it.  The kitchen wasn’t really that dirty, so I helped it along a bit.  I dumped coffee grinds on the counter, emptied stinky old food containers into the garbage, tossed carrot peels on the floor and knocked over beer cans from the recycling that still had beer in them.  All in all, it was a mess.  When he came out of the bedroom I said, “I’ll clean the bathrooms today honey, you just do the kitchen”.  “Really!?” he replied, “ok, if you’re sure!”

Turns out, the joke was on me; he sucks at cleaning.  I spent the next 45 min AFTER cleaning the bathroom, cleaning the kitchen to my standards. Keep it simple ladies; they’re either way smarter than we think, or too oblivious to know we tried to trick them.

~My boyfriend likes to grown out his facial hair every once in a while. I’m sure it’s just pure laziness, but once in a while turns in to all the time, and it soon becomes a rarity when his face is actually smooth. I can take it sometimes, but forgive me if I don’t like having my face rubbed off every time he goes in for a smooch. And yet, I don’t want to be the girlfriend that asks him to shave.

Problem solver: I shave when he shaves.

Last night he shaved.  I decided I didn’t feel like shaving my legs after all.  Too much hassle.

 ~After doing laundry, I usually pile all the clean clothes on the couch and forget about them for 2 days.  The result is a mound of clothing that my boyfriend and I sift through to find underwear and socks.  He kind of hates that half the couch is dedicated to laundry, but folding really is the crappiest job ever.  A few days ago he asked me when I was going to start putting it all away.  I replied by asking when dinner was going to be ready.  After a few grunts and slammed drawers from the kitchen I received my plate; complete with sautéed swiss chard, roasted potatoes and….“What the hell?” I murmured.

He looked at me with a smile and replied “well, if you get to do half the laundry cleaning, I get to do half the dinner cooking.”

Yup, my steak was raw.