Happy New Year

Thing’s I was doing on New Year’s Eve that you were not.

Pouring a bottle of Crystal for one of my tables.  

No, no…they didn’t buy it from me and leave a huge tip – they brought it from home and left early.

Cleaning glass off of tables and the entire floor area of the restaurant.  

Have you ever seen someone Saber-open a bottle of champagne before? This wasn’t it.  A very drunk co-worker decided to use a meat cleaver to open a bottle of Prosecco at his table.  Explosion. Everywhere. They couldn’t eat their dinner due to all the glass.

Listening to my boss throw up in the downstairs office.  

This is horrifying.  Not only is my boss a tiny-angry-Greek-man-child, he is an awful drunk.  He chose last night as the night of choice to down a bottle of Crown Royal and then slobber/spit/yell at all his staff before he vomited two days worth of spanakopita all over his desk.

Watching my manger make another co-worker cry.  

Yes, this actually happens a lot.  Due to large amounts of alcohol and a very short-tempered manager there were R-rated words and quite a bit of spit a-flying last night.  If you imagine it all in slow motion it’s actually quite entertaining, especially the part where she took off her shoe and started beating him with it. (I’ll let you imagine who is who in that scenario).

And finally, serving the cast of Jersey Shore.  

This was SUCH a treat.  A few Chocolate martinis and Long Island Ice teas later, they were pouring olive oil all over the table like a bunch of 12 year olds at Red Lobster.  When one of them told me he had to “drain the snake in the pisser” I knew my night was complete.

Happy New Year to everyone.  

Hopefully 2011 brings the death of Jersey Shore and the end of my serving career!