Tax Payers Unite

I get annoyed with large groups of kids...call me insensitive, but 36 eleven year olds in a small space gives me a twitch.  Strangely enough, on this day of streetcar travel I actually found them entirely entertaining as they stuck-it-to a Bay St. Yuppie at the back of our transportation.

Let me explain...

I make weekly trips on the Streetcar to my voice lesson in Leslieville. These are usually spent looking over music on my lap, listening on YouTube to the piece I’m working on, or playing Sally Spa on my iPhone.... stop hating, this game is amazing.  In fact, stop reading, go download the app, play it, and then we can talk.

So, on this particular day Strauss and I were in deep interpretational thought when the most awful thing for a single adult in a hurry happened; 36 eleven year olds burst through the doors with backpacks, loud screechy voices and of course – one teacher. Now granted, any large group of kids are going to be loud, it’s just unavoidable.  Their backpacks are necessary – I get that (even though one in particular was rubbing up and down my face) and I do remember field trip days being awesome, so I was going to take one for the team (my team) and just sit there quietly urging the streetcar to go faster.  My seated position for the following confrontation was pretty optimal; directly across from the teacher and 2 rows in front of Mr. Idiot so it was pretty easy to laugh at him and not give myself away.

Confrontation between parties:

Mr. Idiot: (loud voice) “take a bus next time!”

Teacher: (confused) “what?”

Mr. Idiot: “I said take a bus! This is ridiculous, these kids are bothering everyone on here!” (They had been there for 30 seconds; no bothering had taken place as of yet)

Teacher: “Uh, this is public transportation buddy”

Mr. Idiot: “EXACTLY! It’s for the public, not for your school trip. We have to sit here and wait for all these stupid kids to get on and off. Now I’m going to be late, and we can all blame that on you!” (I think he might have been expecting others to pipe in at that point…no one did…this guy was on his own.)

Teacher: “Well actually, we’re saving tax dollars by taking the streetcar, so we’re sort of helping you out.”

Now, here the guy takes a turn for the worse...he MAY have had an argument before this point, but his next line of thinking is where his name Idiot originates from....

Mr. Idiot: “I make so much money buddy, I have a real job.  I don’t need YOU to save ME tax dollars! What I want is for you to get these annoying kids out of my face!”

Oh boy. Really? I mean, even if you were thinking it, would you really say that with 10 of them surrounding you? If you ask me, he asked for it.

36 KIDS: (loud voices )“Ooooooooh! I make sooooooo much money!!! I’m sooooooo cool...if you make so much money mister, how come you don’t drive a car! Are these your fancy money making clothes?! Hope I don’t spill on them....What’s your problem? You’re so cool that you should get the whole streetcar to yourself?!  Why don’t YOU get off so you don’t annoy US!”

During this entirely enjoyable attack, the teacher stood there in total awe of his kids who had taken the confrontation out of his hands and capably into theirs.  In my mind the kids were all equipped with rapid fire Nerf guns shooting him in slow motion, making the debate even more enjoyable.

The back and forth between the kids and Mr. Idiot went on for about 10 min until he got up in embarrassment and exited the streetcar – to the applause of all 36 kids, and a few civilian patrons.

Teacher: “you know, sometimes you guys really get on my nerves, but that was the best thing I’ve ever seen, and I’ll remember this day for the rest of my life.”

Moral of the story: don’t get locked down by 36 kids on a sugar high after a day of being off school property with all their friends and only 1 teacher. That’s just common sense.