Spoiler Alert…vagina sensitive readers stop here.
So like any other regular Friday I woke up and decided 'hey, I think I’ll wax ALL the hair off my vagina today and maybe throw in a brow wax too, just in case I’m feeling incredibly masochistic while I'm there'. I picked up the phone and dialed the salon, where in the past year I have enjoyed relatively pain free bikini waxes from a lovely girl named Christine.
Phone call as I remember it:
"Hi Christine! It's Katie....Yes I know, it's been a while (girl got a little lazy on the waxes for a while). I was just wondering if you had room today to fit me in. You do? Great! Actually I was thinking of a Brazilian wax this time.....Yes.....Uhuh....I know, my skin is pretty sensitive....Yes, I was assuming it would hurt....can you numb the area? No? OK....yes, fair warning....Oh, ok I'll expect to bleed (JESUS!). Great, thanks."
(at this time giggling was heard from the bedroom where my boyfriend lay in blissful anticipation of what was to come - what a jerk.)
(at this time giggling was heard from the bedroom where my boyfriend lay in blissful anticipation of what was to come - what a jerk.)
I was thinking it would be a bit weird having Christine do this wax, as our Waxer/Clientele relationship has progressed to a friendly level and she's never had to actually look at my entire vagina before - so I was absolutely relieved to find out that another, equally talented lady would be doing the honors.
Remembering a little something my best friend told me before my first regular wax, I fully intended to bring my super extra strength Advil to numb my entire body in preparation. Now those of you who are passing judgment right now thinking I'm a waxing-wuss...SCREW YOU! A first time Brazilian wax deserves all the pain relieving prep you can imagine. I grabbed my music books, grabbed my book for the subway, got my wallet, my keys, my phone, lip gloss.....
I left the house with no Advil. NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
All right. That’s ok, I can get through this with no pain meds, it's fine, I’ll be fine...ha ha ha ha hahhaaaahh (insert nervous psychopath laugh here).
Lets skip to the event.
I arrived and was greeted by Christine, who had a sweet puppy dog look in her eyes and put her hand on my shoulder and said "you're gonna be fine!". Huh. Not even a hello? The new lady was very nice, sweet and soft spoken. Unfortunately (for story purposes) I forgot her name, but really...who can concentrate when she's telling you to take off your pants and slip on a paper thong the size of something my grandmother would wear?.
Remembering a little something my best friend told me before my first regular wax, I fully intended to bring my super extra strength Advil to numb my entire body in preparation. Now those of you who are passing judgment right now thinking I'm a waxing-wuss...SCREW YOU! A first time Brazilian wax deserves all the pain relieving prep you can imagine. I grabbed my music books, grabbed my book for the subway, got my wallet, my keys, my phone, lip gloss.....
I left the house with no Advil. NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
All right. That’s ok, I can get through this with no pain meds, it's fine, I’ll be fine...ha ha ha ha hahhaaaahh (insert nervous psychopath laugh here).
Lets skip to the event.
I arrived and was greeted by Christine, who had a sweet puppy dog look in her eyes and put her hand on my shoulder and said "you're gonna be fine!". Huh. Not even a hello? The new lady was very nice, sweet and soft spoken. Unfortunately (for story purposes) I forgot her name, but really...who can concentrate when she's telling you to take off your pants and slip on a paper thong the size of something my grandmother would wear?.
She walked into the room and said "First time?" I sort of laughed and mumbled "yes", so she looked at me with incredibly sincere eyes and stated "poor baby!! But I'm so honored to be the one to pull out your virgin hair!"................................What?
Did she really just say that? My VIRGIN HAIR!? Oh ladies it gets better. She looked at my face and crooned, "ooohhhh, this is going to hurt, you have tough hair, I can tell from your eyebrows". Ok, hold on. My best friend told me nothing of checking my eyebrows first to see if the pain level would be tolerable! How did I miss this important detail!!?
What happened next was a mix of pain, more pain and then laughter to mask how much freakin' pain I was in. She was very nice, and went as fast as she could to get it over with quickly, but as I'd never had the hair down there pulled out before...well, let's just say there was a fair amount of bleeding going on.
"Ooohhh my!!! I've never seen anyone bleed this much! You are soooo sensitive!" Ya, thanks for the 411 on my sensitive vagina lady. It went on forever, it felt like I just kept growing hair as she pulled the rest out. If you’ve never had the pleasure of this experience before, I'll just leave it at this: walk into your bathroom, pour hot wax inside your mouth, then proceed to rip off strip after strip of skin layers.
But, I survived ladies. I thought I should have a Brazilian done at least once in my life, and I did it. The nice waxing lady told me I was very brave, and I think from all the bleeding and swelling she thought I should get the whole thing for free, unfortunately the woman and the front desk didn't think so. On the way out she called after me…"the first time's the hardest!"
But, I survived ladies. I thought I should have a Brazilian done at least once in my life, and I did it. The nice waxing lady told me I was very brave, and I think from all the bleeding and swelling she thought I should get the whole thing for free, unfortunately the woman and the front desk didn't think so. On the way out she called after me…"the first time's the hardest!"
No shit.
PS: I didn't get my brows done.
PS: I didn't get my brows done.
Ahh, my poor little ginger minge turned sexy kitten....meow!
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